I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
