....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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