whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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