Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
