But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
