i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My vagina is officially offended.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
