Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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