She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
