Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
