The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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