I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
