We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
