i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
