I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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