Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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