The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize