he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
