he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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