Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
