using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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