I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
