i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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