Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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