i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
