why didn't you poke me back
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
