38 yer olds are good kisserssss
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
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