I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
