hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
