forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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