I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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