fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
