Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Your penis caused this!
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