now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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