Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The best revenge is premature balding
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
