I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize