HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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