Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
