I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
