well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
