the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
