home. puking in laundry basket.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
