I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
this beer tastes like vomit already
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
