that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
