your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
