the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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