thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
