I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
