Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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