I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
