My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
