I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize