What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
