I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
