I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
