your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize