Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
