I need to stop coming to work sober
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
